


married couple problems and all that jazz

by orphan_account



Series: magician's are supposed to be smarter than this [5]
Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love At Its Finest, Marriage, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 17:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7627321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who said problems end after marriage ? Lula and Jack's issues arise a few months after. </p><p>or</p><p>Sequel to kiss the problems away, in which Lula and Jack are clueless, Danny, Henley and Merritt don't know any shit about their friends and Alma and Dylan have a shocker coming their way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. after happily ever after comes complications

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone ! this is the sequel to my previous story, kiss the problems away. I hope you guys love it !  
> x G

They get married on the beach in Southern Italy, barefoot, only an officiate and them with their feet in the sand. 

He tells her she's gets even more beautiful every time he sees her, that she makes him happier than anything he's ever known, and if he could have a part in making her happy, that's all he hopes to do for the rest of his life. She teasingly says that he got that from her favorite show. He winks. 

She tells him he isn't the only one who thinks the other is beautiful, because God, the first time she laid her eyes on him she knew he was. When she heard his voice it was like a calling for her. She's an explorer, she says, and she'd love to explore the unknown for the rest of her life with him. 

They say that they'll love each other, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, till death does them part. 

When they say I do, the officiate pronounced them man and wife, and Lula swears, life doesn't get any better than this. 

They kiss, and if you see their silhouettes from above, you see a man and a woman swearing their lives to each other, promising forever bathed in a glow of radiance. 

~ 

They fall into a routine. After buying a house in suburban New York, they settle in the house.

Lula goes on trips every now and then, but that's alright. It comes with the job. She told him she was a travel agent. 

He leaves the house when she goes, and thinks of strategies to get into the Bank of Italy with Henley and Danny. He told her he was a marketing representative for insurances. He doesn't tell her he steals from them. 

But when they come home together, it's easy. They have dinner and they go to bed together. 

Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night because of bad dreams. He kisses them away, murmuring that he'll always be there for her. She falls back asleep easily, her chest flush on his. His arms wrap around her midsection, bringing her closer. Their legs entangle. 

For seven hours, it's pure bliss, and then their alarms signal 0730 and they get up, kiss each other goodbye and go their separate ways. 

They learn more about each other everyday. She learns that he makes excellent brunch, that he can throw cards like they're slicing air, that he hates washing the dishes and prefers doing laundry. She learns that his family left him when he was thirteen and he had to learn to live and survive by himself. He learns that she indeed, was a dancer. She told him she danced ballet until she was twenty-one and had an accident that fractured her toe. He learns that she has a tattoo on her hipbone. Swallows, after her grandmother died. He learns that she loves flowers but hates when they start wilting. 

They don't have many friends. Lula's never met Danny, Henley and Dylan, just hear about them. He tells her they're in marketing too. He doesn't tell her they don't know he's married. Jack has met Alma, but not Merritt. When they met, Alma looks at her with a clear understanding of a situation. She hides a secret in her eyes and when Lula demands to know, she tells her it's a story for another day. 

They don't have much, but they have each other, and that's better than anything they could've asked for. They have family. 

~ 

It's late October, and it starts getting cold in New York. It's three years, four months and twelve days after their wedding when Jack comes home late for the first time. 

Lula waits on the couch, antsy. She tosses the book she had been pretending to read on the floor and starts pacing. 

What if he found out ? What am I going to tell him ? What am I going to say ? 

And then she hears the familiar jingle of keys. 

"Honey, I'm home !" She smiles to herself, before bracing. 

"I'm in here !" 

She finally sees him leaning against the wall. 

"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." He says, walking to her and bringing her up for a kiss. 

"Am I now ?" She says after pulling away. He kisses her again. 

"Aren't you always ?" He kisses her again, and again, and again.

"You know, " another kiss, "if you keep doing this," another kiss, "tonight's not going to end with" another kiss, "us sleeping." 

"Who said anything about sleeping ?" He asks deviously.

"You are incorrigible." She laughs.

"That's what you like about me." He winks at her before tossing his briefcase on the sofa. "But we do have to go." 

"Right." Lula inwardly winced. 

"You said Alma wanted to have dinner." Jack reminded her.

"Oh, yeah." She said, "Well, okay." 

"Hey," He caught her wrist before she could slink back to their bedroom, presumably for a shower, "we don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Nah, that's okay. Al scheduled this in weeks ago, I'll be fine." 

He smiles before kissing her one last time. 

They leave their house hand in hand forty minutes later. They meet Alma in a small cafe near the river. 

"Al," Lula says, giving her employer a hug.

"Hi, Lu." The blonde woman says before releasing her, "Jack." She gives him a hug. 

"Well, I've just got something to say." Alma starts, "I'm pregnant." 

"Holy shit !" Lula exclaims, "Are we happy about this ?" 

"Well, we are. Slightly. I guess." 

"What about the father ?" Jack asks. 

"Honestly, I don't know." Alma says, buttering her bread.

"Alma, you little minx. " Lula laughs. "One night stand. " She informs her husband. "It isn't every day my infamous friend has a one night stand with a complete stranger and winds up pregnant." 

"Lu, please." Alma laughs. 

When they get home, Lula senses something in Jack's eyes.

"Do you want kids ?" She asks when they settle on their bed, to the darkness and all their demons that lurk, and positively preen in it. 

"Do you ?" 

She doesn't say anything and closes her eyes, willing for the situation to end before it truly does begin. 

~

Children aren't exactly her strong suit. She hasn't exactly had the best maternal role model, the best she had was a woman who was fifty years older than her that she barely remembered, the only memory of her engraved on her hipbone. 

Nana wasn't exactly the best either. She drank a lot for a woman her age and unleashed her rage at the framed pictures on the wall. Husband number one, number two, number three, number four and number five who had all left her after she told them about her drinking problems. 

Jack wants kids, and they both know it. He wants a white picket fence, and he wants to teach his boy how to ride a bicycle, and hold his girl in his arms and tell her he'll never leave. 

Jack wants a family, and even though he tells her having her is enough, she knows it isn't. A great big house in suburbia with neighbors with children in school isn't exactly the best place to be a childless couple. 

They drop the conversation after their fight. 

~ 

She's in Alma's office with Merritt when she finds out. 

"This is your next job." Alma says, dropping a file in front of the pair.

Merritt looks anything but interested and keeps swinging back bourbon from the flask from his suit jacket. 

Lula rolls her eyes affectionately and takes the file. 

She opens it. 

"That is Walter Mabry. He died last year of unknown causes. Him and his business partner were creating a chip that could get into any computer on the planet. He's selling privacy for money. "

"He ain't the only one that wants more cash." Merritt says, and Lula kicks him underneath the table. He yelps in pain before continuing, "Alms, I need a raise. In fact," He looks at Lula, "me and Lu deserve a raise." 

"Maybe after you beat the competition." Alma drops another file on the desk. 

Merritt picks it up. 

"We're going against Shrike ?" He asks. 

He flips the file open and looks at the fuzzy black and white picture.

"Those are the so-called Horsemen. Everyone in New York City, and even abroad know that we are the original Horsemen. We just didn't get popular until Lu came." Alma said. 

Merritt protested, "They had three good-looking criminals ! I was alone and, even though it pains me to say it, but I'm not exactly a sight for sore eyes." 

"Daniel Atlas." Alma ignores him, slapping a picture down in front of them. "Henley Reeves." Lula looks at the familiar redhead. "And Jack Wilder." 

What ? 

"Mer, get out." Lula orders and one look at Lula's face and Merritt scurries off, murmuring a, "Good luck." to Alma, who so obviously would need it. 

Once the door shut, all hell broke loose. 

"Jack ? Alma, why didn't you tell me ?" She demanded, slamming her fist on Alma's wooden desk. "Why didn't you say something like 'hey, you're husband is one of Shrike's best criminals !' ? Why didn't you ?"

"Lula !" Alma yells, getting her attention. "I didn't want you to be unhappy. This was the first time I had seen you ecstatic. And you're not exactly the only one who has a connection to the competition." Alma rubbed her growing stomach.

"Oh my God ! Shrike ?" Lula exclaimed.

"How'd you know ? For all you know it could've been Atlas !" 

"After all the pap pictures of him and Henley making out ? Hell no !" 

"Oh, shut up." 

"Does he know ?" Lula asked carefully.

"No." Alma said. "I'm not the only one with explaining to do. Dylan's telling his team about the case now, too." 

~

Jack flipped his deck of cards in the air. Henley was propped up on the couch, her feet on Danny's lap.

Dylan walked in. "Case." 

The Horsemen got up. 

"Walter Mabry died last year. His co-owner of a chip that can access any computer in the world is selling privacy for money. We sabotage him, make good press about the original Horsemen and leave, alright ?" 

"Original ?" Jack asks.

"Alma has a team who are also called the Horsemen." Dylan explained, tossing a file to Jack. "Merritt McKinney and Lula May." 

Jack contained his shock. He breathed out an accusing laugh and closed his eyes, handing the file to Henley. 

"You know them ?" Danny asks.

"I know her." Jack says. "Fuck." 

When he gets home, there are scattered papers on their coffee table. Lula's sitting on the couch, not looking at him. There's a man across her who's pointing out at the documents. 

"What the hell is going on ?" Jack demands. Lula doesn't look up. "I believe this is the part of the day when I say, " Honey, I'm home."". 

"Mr. Wilder,—" The man speaks up.

"Jack." 

"Jack, Ms. May here has petitioned for a divorce."


	2. if i could, baby i'd give you my world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 up ! hope you guys love this story as much I love you all ! 
> 
> x G

"Get out of my house." Jack says, murderous inter flashing in his eyes as he bares the older man's soul to the flames of hatred. 

The man hesitates before Lula nods for him to leave. 

"I'll be in contact with you, Ms. May." The man picks up his briefcase and makes a beeline for the door.

"It's Ms. Wilder !" Jack exclaims before the door slams shut. He looks at Lula, who's looking anywhere but in his direction. "Lu, look at me." She doesn't. "For God's sake, Lula, look at me."

She does then. And God, he wishes she didn't. Her eyes are red and filled with a look of betrayal, like he's the only one with another life that the other doesn't know about. 

"What ? Are you going to yell at me now ?" Lula says, her voice even yet a clear anger burning in her eyes. "Because I'm not the one who's working for a sick son of a bitch !"

"Dylan's not a son of a bitch !" Jack yells, and fuck, she always did know what he was going to do next. "And says you, the so-called First Horsewoman ! And you're really not, Henley is." 

"You know what ? You need to stop avoiding the real matter at hand ! You lied to me ! Jack of Queen's, honestly ?" She huffs.

"You lied to me too !" Jack counters.

"This is exactly why we need to get divorced ! We've been lying to each other for the whole of our marriage, and we weren't even properly dating when you proposed to me—"

"What, so are you saying saying yes was a mistake ?" Jack asks, hurt evidently showing in his eyes.

"No-yes, I don't know !" Lula decides.

"You're saying getting separated is the answer to all this bullshit ?"

"I don't know ! But we can't be working for rivaling companies ! And-and you," She points at him, "are supposed to be dead !"

"That doesn't take my face off America's kill list, does it ?" 

"You knew about me, didn't you ?" Lula suddenly demands, "Was this some task Dylan have you ? Infiltrate the suspect ? Get her to be weak and then you can get whatever intel you want from Alma ?" 

"What, no !" He exclaims. The idea hadn't even came to his mind !

"You asshole !" She screams anyways, getting up from her spot on the couch. She starts racing back to their bedroom. He follows suit.

When he reaches there, he sees her throwing her clothes out from drawers and stuffing them into suitcases.

"Lu, what the hell are you doing ?" Jack demands, tossing the suitcase to the floor, making an audible thud. 

"I'm moving out ! This is beyond low ! Dylan motherfreaking Shrike sends someone to infiltrate Alma so he can get more jobs ? Him sending someone to make me fall in love with them and share all my deepest darkest secrets through matrimony ? That is fucking low !" Her breathing is very obviously erratic and as she screams mercilessly at him. 

He walks closer to her, taking her hands in his, never-minding her effort to move away from him.

"I swear to you, I never knew who you were."

"On what ?" She demands, a sneer forming on her face, and he swears to whatever God there is out there that he'll go to church, or to the temple, or whatever place if it gets her to never direct that look at him, because it fucking hurts to see her look so betrayed and so pained. It hurts even more to know that he's the reason why she feels that way. 

"On horrible apple pies and cold, unsweetened coffee." He starts, and he sees her stony exterior crumble away a bit. "On weapon shops." He pulls her close, looking into the eyes that drew him in, that taught him to love again. "On abandoning people in ice cream parlors." She tries not to smile at the memory. "On snow and so-called winter wonderlands." She finally gives in and beams beatifically at him. "On first 'I love you's. On pyramids in Egypt. On marketplaces in India. On forests in Indonesia. On one of the Seven Wonders of the World. On hotel rooms in China. On fucking annoying humidity in Africa." Tears start freely dripping down from her face and she throws her arms around him. "On sand in our feet and the smell of seawater on the coast of Southern Italy. On—"

"On us." She ends. And then she reaches up, stands on her tip-toes, and they have the gentlest, most loving kiss they've ever had together. 

Jack shoves away the clothes on their bed, discarding them like empty memories on the floor, and then they fuck gently.

After she comes; he pulls her flush against his chest, and before she falls asleep to the rhythmic beat of his heart, she swears she wouldn't have her life any other way. 

~ 

Lula wakes up the next day to the smell of bacon and the sound of flipping pancakes. 

She sees Jack's tossed away shirt and finds her panties on the floor next to it. She pulls on both garments and walks downstairs.

Her husband is cooking away, lean muscles free of coverage. She walks up behind him and kisses his neck. 

"Hey, you." He says, and he smiles. 

"What are we going to do ?" She mutters, looking down at the floor. She doesn't mean to be a downer, but there are serious matters at hand.

"I honestly don't know." Jack whispers, "But we have each other, and I think that's about enough."

"My romantic." Lula smiles, and she settles on the counter behind him. Suddenly she has an idea. "Al's pregnant with Shrike's kid !" 

"Wait, what ?" She hears the skillet in his hands hit the floor. She winces. Jack turns around to face his wife. "Dylan's going to be a father ? To Alma's kid ? 

"Yep." Lula says, like it's no biggie. "We should merge !" 

"That has got to be either the most brilliant or the most idiotic plan I've ever heard." Jack says, sliding her her plate of pancakes and slightly over-charred bacon. "I'm listening." 

"We're always fighting over who is the ' Original Horsemen ', and it's not like you guys have never met me and Merritt before." She pops a piece of bacon in her mouth, deliberately making obscene sounds. Fuck her. Yep, that should be the plan after this. She continues talking anyways. "I heard that you guys used to work with him before Alma swooped him away. So maybe, Alma's kid could be the treaty peace line ! And then we can all work together and other shit !" Lula's face brightens up as she explains the plan, and Jesus, she knows Jack can't refuse her of anything when she makes that face. She looks at him expectantly when she finishes.

"Worth a shot." He finally shrugs. And she whoops, jumping up to wrap her legs around his waist. "Only if you're up for round two." He smiles deviously.

"For you, baby, always."

They don't make it to the bedroom, but they do have to send their living room carpet to the dry-cleaners. 

~ 

"You want to what ?" Alma exclaims, looking at Lula, and then at Jack, and then back at Lula. "You two have officially gone insane. There is no way in hell I'm going to work with that imbecile !"

"But there's a way for you to procreate with him ?" Lula counters.

"That's-that's utterly different ! Have you heard of hate sex ?" 

"Of course I have. And yet, it produced a little life ! And plus, it's not like you can say no, Shrike and the rest of his team is coming over right now." Lula shrugged. God, Jack loves his wife. He smiles a lopsided grin at his wife's obviously furious employer. 

Merritt speaks up from the corner where he's lounging on the couch like a Cheshire Cat. "I actually think it's a pretty damn good idea coming from Lulabear." 

"See ? Thank you, Merbear." Lula says.

As if on cue, the door opens, revealing Dylan, Henley and Danny. Dylan takes one look at Alma and her slightly rounded stomach and turns pale. Henley, who clearly has an idea of why, shrieks and yells out her congratulations, shaking Dylan and giving him an overly excited hug.

"You can tell Henley's on board with this idea already !" Lula exclaims, getting the redhead's attention.

"So you're the girl who got Jack-Jack's attention." The older woman comments fixing her steel gaze on Lula. 

"Please, I'm the only girl who'd ever get his attention once he had me in the sack." Lula retorted, ignoring the betrayed look on Jack's face. "Sorry, babe." 

Henley laughs aloud. "I like her already !" 

Danny rolls his eyes affectionately at his girlfriend before snapping his fingers in front of Dylan, whose eyes seemed to be rolled out of his sockets.

"You see ? This is an awful idea !" Alma yells.

"All right," Lula says, and before Alma can breathe a breath of relief, the woman adds, "All in favor of the rivaling companies merging, say 'I' and raise your hand." 

Jack, Lula and Henley immediately do so. 

Merritt lazily says, "I don't have enough energy to move a hand but I do agree." 

"Typical." Henley and Lula mutter. The two women laugh. Jack prays that they don't get along, because if they do, world domination is their next goal. He sneaks a peek at them and knows America's going to burn to the flames of hell with them joining forces. 

Henley glares a little at Danny and he begrudgingly says 'I' and raises his hand.

"See ? All in favor." Henley says. 

"It'll be fun !" Lula adds.

"But not funner than watching Dyl co-parent a kid." Jack laughs. 

Lula's glad to see that everyone with the exception of Alma and Dylan, burst out laughing. 

This is true : all the so-called Horsemen unite, and in less than three days, they debunk Walter Mabry's co-owner with a slight interruption from the 'dead' man. The rest of the show runs smoothly. Walter Mabry knows he doesn't stand a chance with the newly formed Horsemen.

This is very true : no one's surprised when Dyl and Alma end up getting married a month after their daughter is born.

This, however, is the truest of them all : Lula and Jack stay happy, stay in love, and stay together. And at the end of the day, what's a successful marriage without a failed background check ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment your thoughts ! kudos if you love Jack/Lula, they're heaven honestly. <3  
> x G

**Author's Note:**

> comment your thoughts please ! love you all !  
> x G


End file.
